Blurt It Out!!

Working mother dilemma

Posted on: October 2, 2013

When i joined this company after my audit, i’m happy. I believe i found my dream job. Cos i get to work, i got paid, i can go back 5.30pm everyday and the best thing, it’s near my house. Usually during the morning jam, it took me around 30mins, and when the road clear, took me around 15mins.

And i love the environment as well. The flexibility, the no-gap btwn manager and staff. The open concept. I’m blessed.

So far i’ve been here for 2 years. And i really wish i could do this job forever,hahaha.

But the company hv different plans. They want to move me up. Which means more workloads and less time. And it remind me of audit. If i want more workloads, i might as well stay in audit, at least the pay is much higher.

So i refused the offer. And i’m tired of the long distance as well. I plan to send Danish to school next year and it will be hard if i’m alone here. And with Danish keep asking for daddy or mummy (when any of us not with him), i don’t like that he’s growing up in this kind of environment.

I believe a family should be together. And i believe money shouldn’t be use to compensate the time with your loved ones. Cos i have seen case close to me, a women busy chasing the corporate ladder, earning 30k a month, work late and even during weekend, that finally, her husband find another women and married her, with the excuse “you are never there”. And i don’t want that to happen, each time i saw her, i pity her. She still busy, she’s very successful in her career and she’s still single. I pity her cos she’s lonely, she didn’t have a companion, a partner. That’s sad.

So i decided to choose for family. Career is just a career, work to make the ends meet. But not most people understand this. They didn’t understand why i refused the offer. Why i didn’t want to go up. Why i didn’t want to travel overseas, business travel.

Oh, i was ambitious once. I wished to have all that. Climbing the corporate ladder, jetsetter, travelling the world for work, become an expat. Alhamdulillah, Allah let me ‘taste’ this kind of life a little bit. I get to travel to Norway twice. I get to feel ‘working’ overseas. But during this time, i realise this life doesn’t suit me. And with the push from the management to push me further, i feel like i’m at the edge.

Still remember my big boss asked me why i didn’t just leave my son with my in laws and i stay work here in kl and just visit him during weekend? I’m stunned. Well, he’s divorced with no kids, i guess he didn’t get to feel being a parent. So i answered him, “I want to be a mother, not that women who come every weekend”. I think he still don’t understand.

I don’t know. I wish i could just quit and take care of Danish myself but of course, money is not enough with only him working. I think i understand now why my parents use to say its better for women to be a teacher. Cos i remembered, while growing up, my parents is always there, i never feel lack of parents presence, cos they both are teachers. They have time to spend with their kids.

Now i’m just praying hard that i get a job offer for Penang. I just want us to settle down, become normal family. 

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1 Response to "Working mother dilemma"

InsyaAllah dear. I pray that you will get the job in Penang and settle down there. Amin. Even though I am not in your shoes, but I do feel you. Really. A mother instinct maybe? 🙂
Pray hard, do Dhuha & Hajat prayers, InsyaAllah, soon Allah will granted your wish. Amin Ya Rabbal A’lamin 🙂
But we need to have one gathering before you move there tau ;p

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