Blurt It Out!!


Posted on: April 19, 2014

Change is uncomfortable. Change involved trying to be someone u not so u r easily accepted in the new community. Change is everything is new and trying to somehow mould your life into it.

I feel the uneasiness of changes. I feel the idea of having to act so i be socially accepted in the new community is hard. I understand that the idea of be urself cannot really be adopted in the new environment.
I’m missing the familiarity. Of being myself. Of not having to plastered a smile all the time. Of the idea that i can ignore small talks.

Well, i guess that is the different of big organization with hundreds of ppl to just, few people that occupy the office part on the first floor.

I know i needed to be friendlier, needed to act, needed to be all nice n not a threat to them. I need these to survive.

I like being a lone ranger. I find comfort of doing things on my own. I chose who can be in my life. I’m fine being an ignorant.

But in a small office, if i act like this, life would be hard. Cos the job require me to get info/help from various ppl. So here i am, pleasing the new crowd.

Oh i can make friends. I can make people like me. I know the tricks. Just that most of the times, i dont really want more ppl in my life. Yeah, i’m super selfish. But for me, my happiness, my sanity is my priority. I dont want xtra ppl to mess up my life. I’m contented.

I feel the drain, of trying to be crowd pleasing. Sigh


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April 2014
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